Everybody lies

posted on Saturday, April, 25th, 2009 in default

Is it bad timing to fall in love at a funeral, or is it in fact the very best timing possible? I don’t know.

We had to bury my aunt today, who recently died after battling cancer for almost 3 years. She wasn’t somebody I was very close to, although she was a lovely and very friendly woman. We basically just saw each other on birthdays or similar occasions.

I know I should be sad that she is dead, and I kind of am, but because she had to suffer so much in the end I am mainly glad that it is finally all over for her.

Nevertheless I dreaded the funeral today, not so much because of the sadness, but because of the fact that all my relatives would be there. Most of them I can only stand in small doses and I have a general problem with weepy people at the best of times, not to speak of the fact that everybody feels the need to hug each other at such occasions, so I really wasn’t looking forward to this day.

But then there was this guy that two of my uncles brought along to our informal get-together before the actual funeral. And not only was he kinda cute and funny and charming, he also seemed to actually like me. Baffling, but in a very nice way.

He had come along to help my 80-year-old uncle, who has trouble walking, but it turned out he wasn’t really needed and he chose to spend the time with me instead.

Is it allowed to have fun at a funeral?

The other thing I had dreaded, besides my pesky relatives, was the prospect of having to listen to a lot of religious hogwash from the pastor. It turned out that part was really as bad as I thought it would be (my aunt would have hated most of it, too, because she wasn’t exactly religious either). If I had rolled my eyes any more they would have fallen out. And I drew a line at singing any of those inane songs or even pretending to pray. But it was all made better by the conspirational smiles I exchanged with my new friend, who as it turned out, isn’t much of a fan of religious bullshit either. (No wonder I liked him on first sight.)

For a minute I felt really bad, because instead of being thoroughly sad and somber as befitted the occasion, I couldn’t stop smiling and exchanging sarcastic remarks with this guy. You could have gotten the impression we weren’t taking this whole thing seriously – and you would have been right.  But then I thought that my aunt wouldn’t have minded that at all. She was a person, who never thought of herself, but always of other people first, so I am sure if she could have looked at us from some kind of heaven or whatever, she would just have smiled and wished me good luck. Of course, she is dead and gone, so the question is moot anyway.

I don’t know if I will ever see this guy again. And even if I do, I am not sure if anything comes of it. But he made a potentially awful day a lot better today, for which I will forever be grateful to him. And I still can’t stop smiling.