Everybody lies

posted on Wednesday, September, 5th, 2007 in default

Yesterday I got a letter informing me that against my expectations I was accepted at this molecular biology course I applied for a few weeks back.I should be happy, I guess, as it is a chance for me to finally find a good job after I finish it. Plus, it gives me something to do for the next 13 months.
Still, I am not even sure if I want to do this anymore, or if I even wanted it in the first place.
The really annoying thing, though, is that it will require quite a bit of creative financing to even afford it. Which requires me to fill in a lot of stupid forms and organize a lot of annoying and boring details, not to speak try and find a flat in Leipzig – and all that in the next 4 weeks, because the course starts on October, 1st. Mainly what pisses me off is that I have to get back to the real world, start dealing with real people again, which I haven’t done much of in the last 2 years, because I just couldn’t be bothered.
Gaah, couldn’t they just have not taken me? There were so many other people there that surely were much better qualified for this thing. But you know what did me in? I may not actually have much experience in the field, or know all the stuff, but when you talk to me you would never guess that, because I can talk fucking circles around most people, even if I’m having no clue what I’m actually talking about. My best friend at uni always used to complain about that; she said I explained things so convincingly that she believed them even when she knew better, and she never believed me that I just made everything up as I went along.
Plus, I can fake sincerity pretty well, and as a very wise man once said: once you can fake that, you have it made. I didn’t even intend to convince them to take me, because by the time it was my turn for the interview I didn’t give a damn anymore if they would like me or not. But apparently they did like what I told them (whatever that was exactly – I never think about what I’m gonna say in such situations, I just think on my feet, and then forget about it once it’s over) and now I’m screwed.