29 levels of moi

Recently, my friend Nicholas over at A Gentleman’s Domain posted this strangely fascinating meme, and even though I still don’t get what the levels are supposed to signify, I decided to have a go at it myself.

Level 1
(x) Smoked a cigarette.
( ) Smoked a cigar.
(x) Kissed a member of the same sex.
(x) Drank alcohol.

Level 2
(x) Are/been in love.
(x) Been dumped.
(x) Shoplifted.
( ) Been fired.
(x) Been in a fist fight.

Level 3
(x) Had a crush on an older person.
(x) Skipped school. (Still do all the time.)
( ) Slept with a classmate.
(x) Seen someone/something die. (And helped it along. Does that count?)

Level 4
( ) Had/have a crush on one of your friends who is now on Facebook.
(x) Been to Paris.
(x) Been to Spain.
(x) Been on a plane.
(x) Thrown up from drinking. (Only once and I will never in my life get that drunk again.)

Level 5
( ) Eaten sushi.
( ) Been snowboarding.
( ) Met someone BECAUSE of Facebook.
(?) Been in a mosh pit. (I don’t even know what that is, so maybe that’s a yes?)

Level 6
( ) Been in an abusive relationship.
(x) Taken pain killers.
(x) Love/loved someone who you can’t have. (All the fucking time.)
( ) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
(x) Made a snow angel. (I must have, because all kids used to do that, back in the days when they still used to play outside, right?)

Level 7
( ) Had a tea party.
(x) Flown a kite.
(x) Built a sand castle.
(x) Gone mudding (offroading).
( ) Played dress up.

Level 8
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.
(x) Gone sledging.
(x) Cheated while playing a game. (Another one I do all the time.)
(x) Been lonely.
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school.

Level 9
(x) Watched the sun set.
( ) Felt an earthquake.
( ) Killed a snake.

Level 10
(x) Been tickled.
( ) Been robbed/vandalized.
(x) Been cheated on.
(x) Been misunderstood.

Level 11
( ) Won a contest.
( ) Been suspended from school. (I wish!)
( ) Had detention.
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident.

Level 12
( ) Had/have braces.
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. (Is that supposed to be something extraordinary?)
( ) Danced in the moonlight.

Level 13
(x) Hated the way you look.
(x) Witnessed a crime. (Do the ones I committed count?)
( ) Pole danced. (Now here’s an idea…)
( ) Questioned your heart.
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes.

Level 14
(x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
(x) Been lost.
(x) Been to the opposite side of the world.
(x) Swam in the ocean.
( ) Felt like you were dying. (Every time I sit in class and am bored to death, but I guess that doesn’t count.)

Level 15
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
(x) Played cops and robbers.
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
( ) Sang karaoke.
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.

Level 16
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
(x) Made prank phone calls.
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
( ) Kissed in the rain.

Level 17
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
(x) Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared about.
(x) Blown bubbles.
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach or anywhere.

Level 18
( ) Crashed A Party.
(x) Have travelled more than 5 days with a car full of people. (Boy, was that a crappy idea!)
(x) Gone rollerskating/blading.
(x) Had a wish come true.
(x) Slept with a member of the same sex.

Level 19
( ) Worn pearls.
(x) Jumped off a bridge.
( ) Screamed “penis” or “vagina”.
( ) Swam with dolphins.

Level 20
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube.
( ) Kissed a fish.
(x) Worn the opposite sex’s clothes. (Practically all my life.)
(x) Sat on a roof top.

Level 21
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
( ) Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel. (I can’t even do two-handed ones.)
( ) Talked on the phone for more than six hours (in one day).
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about.

Level 22
(x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
(x) Climbed a tree.
(x) Had/been in a tree house.
(x) Been scared to watch scary movies alone.

Level 23
(x) Believed in ghosts.
( ) Have had more than thirty pairs of shoes (not necessarily all at once).
( ) Gone streaking.
( ) Visited jail.

Level 24
( ) Played chicken.
( ) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
( ) Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger.
( ) Broken a bone.
(x) Been easily amused.

Level 25
(x) Caught a fish then ate it later.
( ) Made a porn video.
( ) Caught a butterfly. (I’m terrified of butterflies, I wouldn’t think of catching one. Ever. *shudder*)
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
( ) Cried so hard you laughed.

Level 26
( ) Mooned/flashed someone.
( ) Had someone moon/flash you.
(x) Cheated on a test.
(x) Forgotten someone’s name.
(x) French braided someone’s hair. (My own.)
(x) Gone skinny dipping.
( ) Been kicked out of your house.
(x) Tried to hurt yourself.

Level 27
( ) Rode a roller coaster. (That’s one of those things you couldn’t pay me enough to try.)
( ) Went scuba-diving/snorkelling.
(x) Had a cavity.
( ) Black-mailed someone.
( ) Been black mailed.

Level 28
(x) Been used.
( ) Fell going up the stairs.
( ) Licked a cat.
(x) Bitten someone.
(x) Licked someone - not in private places…

Level 29
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint.
( ) Had sex in the rain.
(x) Flattened someone’s tires.
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on.
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas.

Hm, now that I have read it again, I am still puzzled by some of the questions. But whatever. I don’t have to understand everything. I’m not going to tag anyone, but if you like to play along, feel free to do so.

Oh, and if you know anybody who can honestly say of himself that he ever licked a cat or kissed a fish: let me know, because people like that sound like fun.

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Well, apparently not all that much. At least judging by the contents of this site, containing the 100 Greatest Quotes from fundamentalist christian chat rooms.

These are actual quotes of actual religious nutcases. If it wasn’t so damn funny, it would be tragic that people can actually be THAT stupid. I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard.
Funnily, just earlier today I read a blog post of a religious woman, who was asking why atheists don’t take people seriously who believe in Intelligent Design. I was tempted to write a comment with a lenghty explanation (along the lines of “because ID has got nothing to do with science and is just as much a fairytale as the rest of religion”), but in the end I decided it just wasn’t worth it. Now, if I could just find that blog again, I would post this link as my explanation. It says it all, really. How can you take anybody seriously who sprouts nonsense such as this:

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don’t know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

Although I have to say morons like this one make me a tiny bit angry:

[Talking about an eleven year old girl who was raped and then buried alive]
god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us.

I’m really trying to be tolerant towards religious people, I try to respect the fact that they believe in fairytales with no basis in reality whatsoever. Everybody is entitled to their own private beliefes, right? But reading such utter foolishness doesn’t exactly make it any easier.

Here is another example that just leaves me shaking my head in disbelief:

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example… sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we’d all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

Is it any wonder I can’t take people like that seriously? Gahhh!!! My belief in humankind has taken quite a dive again. We are all doomed, I tell ya. DOOMED.

As always I am a bit late to the party, but I just watched the infamous Tom Cruise video for the first time after I found a hilarious spoof of it on Pajiba (who would’ve thought Jerry O’Connell could be so funny and so creepy at the same time?).

And while I laughed my ass off about Cruise’s demented ramblings like everybody else on this earth, I couldn’t keep from asking myself: is this guy for real? Is this video for real? Does Scientology really hope any thinking person would join them because of that footage of a maniac rambling on about god knows what in the most incoherent fashion I have seen in public in a long while? Granted, people who are able to think for themselves generally don’t join Scientology anyway, but even so it seems like they should rather be ashamed of this guy than use him as a figurehead for their movement or however they call it.

Ok, from an outsider’s perspective they seem to be pretty crazy, what with all their rules and the things they apparently believe in (then again, not much crazier than the official churches or any other sect from what I can see), but good marketing is something completely different.

And Cruise doesn’t even have the excuse to say he was drunk, or stoned, or whatever. Because this is by far not the first time we have seen him behave like that. This guy seriously has some screws loose.

Why is he allowed to live while a sweet guy like Heath dies, that’s what I would like to know. Talk about the world being unfair…

Did I ever mention that I am a huge fan of wedding cakes?

Not that I have been to many weddings in my life, but I very much admire the artistry and creativity that goes into the making of these kinds of cakes.

Now, when you think of wedding cakes, you probably think of something along the lines of this:

Which is very nice, but not spectacular. When I stumbled my way through the web I just found a website aptly named Mike’s Amazing Cakes where you can find the above picture, but also creations such as these:

Aren’t they fantastic? Way too pretty to just eat them. And these are just the wedding cakes. They do cakes for special occasions as well and they are equally stunning:

I for one am blown away. I even like their website, even though it’s flash-based.
What do you think? If you know of any other cake-artists I’d love it if you could leave a link to their website in the comments.

I guess most religious people can’t laugh about that, but I find it hilarious. And so fitting. But look for yourself, it runs only for a minute.

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Ladies and Gentlemen: Hugh MacLeod of gapingvoid.com.  Cartoon-drawing genius.

Gems like these are the reason I always click on his new posts first in my feed reader. I have to admit, often I don’t even read what he writes (sorry, Hugh!), but his cartoons are priceless.

Regular readers of my blog will probably be aware of the fact that I am not the world’s biggest humanitarian. Quite the contrary, to be honest.

So, when I read about this site over at Sandier Pastures I  checked it out less in the hopes of actually helping to feed the hungry (a premise of the site which I’m too cynic to believe in  anyway), but mostly just for the fun of finding a new game.

And what do you know: it really is fun. Especially if you are not a native speaker of english, it is a great way to broaden your vocabulary. But even for native speakers I would bet that they have some words there that you have never heard before. Ever.

So, at the very least you can while away the time in an entertaining and educating way there. And - my cynicism hardly allows me to add this - maybe you actually do some good with your playing. Even though in their FAQ section they say that the rice is paid for by the advertisements you see on the site (I have to take that on belief, because I don’t see any thanks to my AdBlocker), it sounds too goody-goody for me to actually believe it. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if somebody just got a new idea to rip gullible people off with this. Who can prove that the money generated by these ads really does get invested in rice after all?

But, hey, I don’t care one way or the other. If you do, you are free to believe whatever makes you feel all tingly and warm inside. I’m gonna go and have some fun in any case.