I still love him.
That’s all.

Last year’s NaNovel remains unfinished so far, but I haven’t given up on it yet. I did recently get some interesting new ideas for how to end it. Unfortunately this means I will have to do some major rewriting. Or at least reordering of scenes. But that’s not all that bad – at least I can probably use most of what I have written so far and just have to write a couple more scenes to tie it all together in a newish way. And then write an ending. Yeah, ok, maybe it is bad.

To make matters a tad more complicated I was stupid enough to propose the glorious idea of a pre-NaNo warmup mini-NaNo in the NaNo forums. And some other people cheerfully shouted “Yes, we want in on that fun!”. *headdesk* So now the unofficial mini-pre-warmup NaNo starts tomorrow. The plan is to write 30.000 words in 30 days, then have 2 weeks off to recuperate before starting the actual NaNo. Crazy, much?

The logical thing to do would be to finish my old story, especially since I hope to use this year’s NaNo winner’s coupon from lulu.com for the free proof copy of that story. But even though I am big on thinking logically, I have never been very good at actually acting logical in any way whatsoever. So I will probably start writing a completely different story tomorrow.

Did I mention that actually I really should be working instead?

So I’ve got a new obsession.

No surprise there, really. From watching the first promo for this show on german tv I kinda knew I would end up liking it. And after I actually saw the first 2 episodes I knew I would have to get my hands on all the available ones in english.

I have watched them all pretty much straight through in 2 days (yes, I have no life). And now I am chomping at the bit to get to see more and pissed off that it will take until June (June!! WTF?) for the series to return to american television.

Why do I always have to stumble on a great new show when they are either on hiatus or on the verge of getting cancelled (or both)? I mean, I am all for german tv picking up current shows (like they did with Castle) and not waiting, like they used to, for years to actually show them (like they did with Firefly, which aired in Germany more than 5 years after its cancellation). In some cases I’d just like to find a show only after there are already 4 full seasons available, because then the catching up is so much more fun.

Anyway, at least I know that I can look forward to 12 new episodes of Lie To Me and I can still hold out a bit of hope that there will actually be a third season next year, even though it doesn’t look too good right now.

So, why am I so fascinated by this show?

Well, it’s actually 2 things:

Firstly, it’s a show about lying and about how to spot liars and the tagline of it might just as well be “Everybody Lies”, if that one wasn’t already taken. It’s just fascinating to watch how the team exposes all kinds of lies in other people, but at the same time some of them (namely Lightman himself) get away with the most preposterous lies, because they just know how to lie better.

It’s also interesting to know that most of the stuff they use in the show is based on actual scientific research and the character of Cal Lightman ist based on the real scientist Paul Ekman. Of course, a lot of it is dumbed down for the general audience, but it’s still close enough to the truth to be fascinating.

And speaking of fascinating, my second reason is of course Tim Roth. Since I watch a lot of movies I had obviously heard the name before, but I had never consciously noticed him in anything before, even though I do know some of the movies he was in.

From where I stand now I am absolutely flabbergasted how this guy could not pop up on my radar for so long. To say that I find him brilliant would be pretty much the understatement of the year. You know how I always rave about Hugh Laurie being one of my most adored actors ever? Well, Tim Roth is now standing right beside Hugh on that pedestal in my mind. Considering that the characters of Cal Lightman and Greg House share a lot of traits that’s probably fitting.

The upside is, now I can look forward to watch (or in some cases re-watch) dozens of movies Tim was in, which should be a treat. Maybe that will tide me over until June.

One other thing I love about Lie To Me is that Tim was allowed to keep his adorable english accent. It is so refreshing seeing a british actor on an american tv show actually walking around calling everybody “luv” and “mate”. I wish Hugh Laurie would have been allowed to do that on House as well.

But of course the show does not exclusively revolve around Cal Lightman (not that I would mind). There is also the rest of his team:

Dr. Gillian Foster, Cal’s business partner and closest friend. She has a tendency to mother other people, especially Cal, which can sometimes be a bit grating. But she’s also very much on his level, professionally, so there is a lot of mutual respect between the two of them. In season 1 she and Cal were strictly friends, because Gillian was married, but since she got divorced in season 2, the writers do seem to think about starting a relationship between them. I hope they don’t, because I liked their friendship so much more.

Ria Torres, the newbie on the team and a natural when it comes to spotting lies (whereas the rest of the team had to actually study to achieve their kind of insightfulness). She definitely has some issues and still has to learn not to constantly overstep boundaries, but her clashes with Lighhtman are always entertaining to watch.

Eli Loker, one of the younger scientists in the Lightman Group. He starts out as a compulsive truth teller in season 1, but pretty soon gets derailed by real life and ends up having to choose between getting fired or staying on as an unpaid intern. Not really sure if I like the direction they have taken him in, but I do still like the character.

Ben Reynolds, a new addition to the team at the end of season 1. He is an FBI agent and was introduced as somebody who can liaise with the law enforcment when it’s necessary. He’s also good to have around when things get dangerous, because the scientists are all not exactly well-equipped to deal with things like that (which I find hilarious).

Then there’s Emily Lightman, Cal’s teenage daughter. Surprisingly (considering I don’t really care much for children and teenies on tv) she has developed into the second really likeable and completely not-annoying teens on tv (the other one is Alexis Castle on Castle). I love the relationship she has with her father.

You really wouldn’t wanna play poker with these guys.

It’s nice to have a show where I like pretty much the whole cast. On most shows there are at least one or two characters that totally get on my nerves. But of course the main draw for me is Tim Roth.

Cal Lightman is such a delightful character to watch. He is not quite as intentionally rude as Greg House, but still has a tendency to be very direct and not care the least bit if he pisses people off. And he can lie like nobody’s business, which is a trait I always admired.

Another thing that I find adorable is probably less Cal and more Tim. Look at that promo pic:

It’s probably not the best example, but it’s the best picture I have to make my point. Notice how everyone stands or sits in a really artificial posture? Except Cal. He slouches.

The character does that a lot in the show, but I also noticed Tim doing it in interviews and such. Now, there’s nothing inherently sexy in having a bad posture. But I love the fact that he is so incredibly comfortable in his own skin and just doesn’t give a damn about what it looks like to other people. Besides, I do the exact same thing all the time – only I wouldn’t be self-confident enough to do it while I’m on camera.

And while it was a great feeling to accomplish this two times in a row (after all, there are many people who take part for years before making it over the finish line even once), it was mixed in with a little disappointment as well.

Yes, I did write another 50.000 words during November (58.678 to be exact) and that is great. But I didn’t quite make my own goal of 60.000 and neither did I finish even one of my two stories.

But, to look on the bright side, I did move along in my original story quite a bit farther and I think I will be able to get it finished eventually. Hopefully before November 2010.

I try to keep writing at least 500 words a day since NaNo ended, but since the real world has caught up with me again this proves to be even more of a challenge than banging out 2000 words a day in November.

I am also itching to start revising and editing the story, but before I haven’t finished the damn first draft that would be a complete waste of time. But that just gives me more motivation to keep writing. Although by the time I finally get around to revising I probably won’t feel like actually going through all those endless pages again. But I’ll cross this bridge when I come to it.

More than 2 weeks of writing lie behind me and even though I am quite comfortably ahead of the official wordcount goal for this time of month, I still feel a bit disappointed with myself because I had hoped to do so much better this year.

Unfortunately I didn’t keep my statistics from last year, but I do remember that there were several days where I didn’t write anything at all and serveral days, especially towards the end of the month, where I scrambled like mad to catch up. I made it to 54.000 in the end, if I remember correctly, but it wasn’t exactly fair sailing all the way and I knew it could have been a lot more if I hadn’t procrastinated and dragged my feet quite as much. But since I had started 4 days late I was still happy to have made it over the finish line at all.

Now this year, because I already knew it would be possible for me to write 50.000 words in a month, and because I wanted to do better than last time, I set my goal at 75.000 words – and even more important, I wanted to finish last year’s novel.  Because it is all nice and well writing so much stuff, but I know if I don’t finally finish this thing now, I probably never will. Not that that would be such a loss to the world of literature, since it is never going to be published anyway. But for my own sense of fullfillment (and because I am prone to start all kinds of things, but have a hard time sticking to one thing long enough to actually finish it) I just need to do this. I don’t care if I never get around to edit it and let other people look at it, but I want to be able to say that at least once in my life I wrote an actual novel from start to finish.

The good news is, I was actually able to pick up the story where I left it off a year ago. That wasn’t something I was quite sure I could do. So I am happy that at least it isn’t already dead in my mind. And I am making headway with the plot. I know what is left to write and I roughly know where I want to go with this, instead of just letting it meander more or less randomly. And I do feel that the end draws closer. Not quite close enough to see it from where I stand now, but maybe just around one or two more corners.

The bad news is that I have written only 17.000 more words for this story so far. The rest of my wordcount comes from the other story. The one that I started on a whim on day 3 of the contest, because for the life of me I didn’t feel like working on the original one that day.

So now I am working on 2 stories at the same time. Every night when I start up my laptop I have to decide which one to work on this time, which in a way feels like a bit of a luxury, but it also stresses me out that every time I choose “the other story” is a day less to finish the original one.

Also, one would think that if I write 2 stories, I shouldn’t have a hard time racking up a much higher wordcount than last year. Unfortunately it doesn’t quite work this way. I might still make it to 75.000 words, but it will be a close thing.

And do you want to know the punchline? It’s not because I wouldn’t have time to write. I have oodles of time. Well, actually I should be working most of the time, but I’m not (which is a tale for another day). For the last 2 weeks my parents were on holiday and I had the whole house to myself, nobody nagging me or reminding me to do “something useful”, nobody I had to even talk to at all (except for the dog and she is not much of a talker). Fourteen days of uninterrupted writing time all to myself. In theory, at least.

And even now that they are back they don’t really bother me all day, because they assume I am up here in my office working. In theory I could have written another 1000 words since breakfast easily. But I didn’t. And that’s not only because I am plain lazy and love to distract myself with all kinds of useless other stuff – although both of these things are true. But the biggest reason for that is that I can’t seem to write in the day. For some reason I always, always only start writing in the evening and then keep going until I have trouble to keep my eyes open and string a coherent sentence together. Quite an annoying habit, really.

But there are still 2 more weeks to go and hope springs eternal and all that shit. I do still think that I have a fair shot at finishing both my stories in time and maybe even reach my unofficial personal wordcount goal. And even though, as you can see from the graphic to the right, I already skipped one day this month, I do hope that I will also achieve my other goal of writing each and every day for the remainder of the month. We’ll see how that goes.

(FYI, if I was allowed to count this post towards my wordcount, that would be a whopping 964 words more already…)

Last year I was a couple days late, because I stumbled on the site only on November, 3rd or so. This year I am in it even before the official start, spending way too much time in the forums.

As per the rules one is allowed to outline a story, but the actual writing of it has to start only on November, 1st. I did that last year (sans the outline, obviously) and it worked fine. So, common sense says I should just do the same thing this year.

But since when do I listen to common sense?

Thing is, even though I managed to write more than 50.000 words last November and so technically “won”, I failed to finish the story. Moreover, all this year I still failed to finish the story, because I just had other things on my mind and never got around to much writing at all.

So it looks like I will be a NaNo-rebel this year. I just have to finish this damn story, before I have any hope of being able to concentrate on another one. From what I have heard from other WriMo’s this strategy can backfire completely and end in miserable failure, but I take that risk. If it isn’t working at all I can always switch to a new story after a week or so.

For now I am excited and can’t wait to get started.

I don’t know what possessed me, but for the last couple of days I felt like I absolutely had to do this, and since I act upon every stupid idea I get here I am, an official participant in this whole novel writing frenzy. Great. Just what I needed, really.

Since I have never done that before, I have no idea what to expect and if I even have a chance to succeed. But I guess half the fun is finding that out.

Did I mention that I have no clue whatsoever what I might write a novel about?

But then again, there’s still time. The whole thing only starts tomorrow, so maybe I’ll come up with the killer plot idea tonight in my sleep. Not bloody likely, though.

Anyway, I just wanted to mention that in case I can’t be bothered to post anything here in the next 4 weeks. I’m not dead, I’m just writing. Probably. Or I’m hiding from my own stupid ideas. Or something.

Now, quite apart from me being amazed that he actually bothered to read my post at all (it’s not like I’m an a-list blogger after all), how fucking awesome is that? Never in a hundred years would I have expected anything like that and I just sat here staring at my computer screen for a couple of minutes, completely flabbergasted.

And then, after I had looked outside and seen the 10 inches of snow, which would make driving to Groningen hell, I went and checked the train times (the next train to Groningen goes around 3.30 p.m., which would make me way too late for the show tonight) and then Ryanair for tickets to London (going for around 250 Euros right now).

Finally, after I had bit into my desk in frustration, I answered Doug’s email, telling him I was unable to take him up on his generous offer…

I don’t know what to feel right now. On the one hand, I am giddy about being offered free tickets to a kick-ass show (I’m sure for some people that would not be much of a big deal, because it happens to them all the time, but as I said, I live in the middle of friggin’ nowhere and this is hands down the best thing I ever got offered for free), but obviously I’m also broken-hearted that I don’t get to go. Ah well, it sure would have been nice, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Now please excuse me, while I go and bang my head on the wall in despair…

I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but you can actually fall in love with someone just by listening to him sing. I know, because I just did.

Just ignore Letterman and listen to this song. Isn’t this guy just incredible?

Before one of his songs was included on the House Soundtrack I had never heard of Josh Ritter. (Yes, I do live in a cave.) When I heard that song, though, I knew I had to check out what else the guy has done. And what can I say? Blown away doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I downloaded his last 3 CDs and I have been listening to them ever since. They are from start to finish incredible – and, believe me, it’s a very rare occurence to hear me saying something like that!

His voice is not perfect, but it’s … real, for want of a better word. Actually, he reminds me a bit of Bruce Springsteen in that regard (he even covered one of my favorite songs of his – brilliantly, I might add). He sings with so much feeling and such sincerity that I couldn’t help falling for him. And that was before I ever saw him. I’d be hard pressed to say which song is my favorite, they are all so very good. And that’s not even counting the sometimes wacky lyrics, which are fantastic as well.

From the live album I listened to it sounds like his concerts are quite the party. He seems to really bond with his audience and even without seeing him I could hear that he has an amazing presence on stage. As luck would have it, he is just touring Europe. Tomorrow he does the last concert in the Netherlands, then he goes to the UK and does a couple of shows there before finishing off the tour back home in the US.

Now, there’s no way I can afford to fly to London or Leeds on such short notice, but I could drive to Groningen tomorrow… It’s only about 600 km after all. And even though I couldn’t find out how much the tickets are, at least it looks like the show is not completely sold out.

I could say this was providential timing, but of course in reality I can’t afford to drive all the way to the Netherlands just for a concert, either. The gas alone would come to more than 120 Euros. So I guess, for now I’m stuck with listening to the CDs and hoping he’ll do another tour next year. Ah crap, being a responsible grown-up really sucks sometimes!

But instead I did have some fun checking out everything I could find about the guy online. Not only did he turn out to be quite cute, he also has got a beautiful website. With links that grow little flowers when you move the cursor over them. Sweet. And you can download quite a few of his songs for free, how nice is that?

Then there’s a special fansite, where you can listen to his song “Good Man” – which featured on House - and also download the mp3. For free.

But wait, there’s more! Also on the fansite, there’s a page where you can download almost the complete setlist of a show he did at the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles last March – just him and his acoustic guitar all alone on stage. Gave me goosebumps. He’s amazing. Have I mentioned how much in love I am with his voice?

And here you can listen to all the tracks of his newest album “The Historical Conquest of Josh Ritter”. Do yourself a favour and check it out (especially “To the dogs or whoever” and “Rumors”)!

The man really is awfully generous with his music. I hope there are enough people left who actually buy the CDs. I for one definitely will. You won’t hear that from me often, but some music is actually worth paying money for.

The one I’m using at the moment is not really big enough and besides, it is a shoulder bag. Now I’m not a big fan of shoulder bags anyway, but if I have to lug around a 5-pound laptop plus several accessories I definitely want a backpack.

The problem is most of those laptop backpacks look exactly the same, i.e. boring. They are black with some grey, or grey with some black, or black with some blue, or… well, you get the picture. They are just damn boring.

So it took me a while to find anything even remotely interesting, but now there’s another problem: I have found 2 that I like. And I can’t decide which one I like more. This sucks, because obviously, for monetary and clutter-related reasons, I can only buy one.

So I need a little help here, guys. Which one looks better?

I think they both look nice. They are both pretty much the same size, weight and material. They both have 2 big compartments and several little ones, so fitting everything in shouldn’t be a problem. The green one has an interestingly curved form, but the white one has an extra rain cover (not that I will ever willingly walk around in the rain for hours with my laptop on my back, but it could happen, right?). But the white one looks pretty much the same as the old backpack I am using every day (which, sadly, doesn’t have any kind of padding fit for laptop transport). So I guess the green one would be something else for a change.

Gahhh, did I mention that I hate having to make decisions?

The one bad thing about getting stuff like that through an ebay auction is that I can’t order several different ones and try them and then only keep the one I like best, like I could do when ordering them from Amazon, for instance. So, what if the green one looks better, but feels like crap when I am actually carrying it on my back?

Well, I guess then I will just have to sell it again and try the other one. *sigh*

So, which one shall I get?