Everybody lies

Recently, my friend Nicholas over at A Gentleman’s Domain posted this strangely fascinating meme, and even though I still don’t get what the levels are supposed to signify, I decided to have a go at it myself.

Level 1
(x) Smoked a cigarette.
( ) Smoked a cigar.
(x) Kissed a member of the same sex.
(x) Drank alcohol.

Level 2
(x) Are/been in love.
(x) Been dumped.
(x) Shoplifted.
( ) Been fired.
(x) Been in a fist fight.

Level 3
(x) Had a crush on an older person.
(x) Skipped school. (Still do all the time.)
( ) Slept with a classmate.
(x) Seen someone/something die. (And helped it along. Does that count?)

Level 4
( ) Had/have a crush on one of your friends who is now on Facebook.
(x) Been to Paris.
(x) Been to Spain.
(x) Been on a plane.
(x) Thrown up from drinking. (Only once and I will never in my life get that drunk again.)

Level 5
( ) Eaten sushi.
( ) Been snowboarding.
( ) Met someone BECAUSE of Facebook.
(?) Been in a mosh pit. (I don’t even know what that is, so maybe that’s a yes?)

Level 6
( ) Been in an abusive relationship.
(x) Taken pain killers.
(x) Love/loved someone who you can’t have. (All the fucking time.)
( ) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
(x) Made a snow angel. (I must have, because all kids used to do that, back in the days when they still used to play outside, right?)

Level 7
( ) Had a tea party.
(x) Flown a kite.
(x) Built a sand castle.
(x) Gone mudding (offroading).
( ) Played dress up.

Level 8
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.
(x) Gone sledging.
(x) Cheated while playing a game. (Another one I do all the time.)
(x) Been lonely.
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school.

Level 9
(x) Watched the sun set.
( ) Felt an earthquake.
( ) Killed a snake.

Level 10
(x) Been tickled.
( ) Been robbed/vandalized.
(x) Been cheated on.
(x) Been misunderstood.

Level 11
( ) Won a contest.
( ) Been suspended from school. (I wish!)
( ) Had detention.
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident.

Level 12
( ) Had/have braces.
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. (Is that supposed to be something extraordinary?)
( ) Danced in the moonlight.

Level 13
(x) Hated the way you look.
(x) Witnessed a crime. (Do the ones I committed count?)
( ) Pole danced. (Now here’s an idea…)
( ) Questioned your heart.
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes.

Level 14
(x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
(x) Been lost.
(x) Been to the opposite side of the world.
(x) Swam in the ocean.
( ) Felt like you were dying. (Every time I sit in class and am bored to death, but I guess that doesn’t count.)

Level 15
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
(x) Played cops and robbers.
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
( ) Sang karaoke.
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.

Level 16
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
(x) Made prank phone calls.
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
( ) Kissed in the rain.

Level 17
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
(x) Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared about.
(x) Blown bubbles.
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach or anywhere.

Level 18
( ) Crashed A Party.
(x) Have travelled more than 5 days with a car full of people. (Boy, was that a crappy idea!)
(x) Gone rollerskating/blading.
(x) Had a wish come true.
(x) Slept with a member of the same sex.

Level 19
( ) Worn pearls.
(x) Jumped off a bridge.
( ) Screamed “penis” or “vagina”.
( ) Swam with dolphins.

Level 20
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube.
( ) Kissed a fish.
(x) Worn the opposite sex’s clothes. (Practically all my life.)
(x) Sat on a roof top.

Level 21
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
( ) Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel. (I can’t even do two-handed ones.)
( ) Talked on the phone for more than six hours (in one day).
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about.

Level 22
(x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
(x) Climbed a tree.
(x) Had/been in a tree house.
(x) Been scared to watch scary movies alone.

Level 23
(x) Believed in ghosts.
( ) Have had more than thirty pairs of shoes (not necessarily all at once).
( ) Gone streaking.
( ) Visited jail.

Level 24
( ) Played chicken.
( ) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
( ) Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger.
( ) Broken a bone.
(x) Been easily amused.

Level 25
(x) Caught a fish then ate it later.
( ) Made a porn video.
( ) Caught a butterfly. (I’m terrified of butterflies, I wouldn’t think of catching one. Ever. *shudder*)
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
( ) Cried so hard you laughed.

Level 26
( ) Mooned/flashed someone.
( ) Had someone moon/flash you.
(x) Cheated on a test.
(x) Forgotten someone’s name.
(x) French braided someone’s hair. (My own.)
(x) Gone skinny dipping.
( ) Been kicked out of your house.
(x) Tried to hurt yourself.

Level 27
( ) Rode a roller coaster. (That’s one of those things you couldn’t pay me enough to try.)
( ) Went scuba-diving/snorkelling.
(x) Had a cavity.
( ) Black-mailed someone.
( ) Been black mailed.

Level 28
(x) Been used.
( ) Fell going up the stairs.
( ) Licked a cat.
(x) Bitten someone.
(x) Licked someone - not in private places…

Level 29
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint.
( ) Had sex in the rain.
(x) Flattened someone’s tires.
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on.
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas.

Hm, now that I have read it again, I am still puzzled by some of the questions. But whatever. I don’t have to understand everything. I’m not going to tag anyone, but if you like to play along, feel free to do so.

Oh, and if you know anybody who can honestly say of himself that he ever licked a cat or kissed a fish: let me know, because people like that sound like fun.